[ it had taken time for the old cloud to resurface. zack's personality bleeds out of him as the memories of the older boy's death trickle in, the old cloud showing in new doubts and hesitations. he's a mess, he knows, not quite who he was and never who he thought he could be.
but he'd tried.
for tifa, for marlene, and later for denzel - he'd tried. every day he had pulled himself out of bed, determined to face the world and be better. people learned to love this new cloud and he had hoped that maybe he could too. that he would find a way to forgive himself for not being strong enough, for being the catalyst that had almost ended the world.
and he had, almost. even as fatigue started to eat at him. dizziness and headaches and waking nightmares of the past he can't escape from, accompanied by agony that drops him to his knees. he maintained that hope, that dream of the future that they had all shared before that final battle... but leads only brought him to dead ends. cloud was no scientist, incapable of figuring out what this was and why it was killing him and others that they loved. he could stand in front of an opponent and fight until the end, but in the face of inevitability - of mournful eyes and false hope, he crumbled. he'd always been a coward.
so he'd fled.
and now it's come to this.
the church, more destroyed than it's ever been. tifa bleeding, a small body in her arms. he doesn't comprehend what he's seeing for a moment, the record skip and familiar static burst of his mind trying to protect him from the worst obscures the little girl's face for a reason. but that can't save him anymore.
he bolts to their side, reaching for his chest of materia, for the maxed out materia he keeps on hand for just such an occasion - but it's not there. it's gone. ]
W-what... [ what happened. what are you doing here. what can i do? ]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2020-05-18 05:32 am (UTC)but he'd tried.
for tifa, for marlene, and later for denzel - he'd tried. every day he had pulled himself out of bed, determined to face the world and be better. people learned to love this new cloud and he had hoped that maybe he could too. that he would find a way to forgive himself for not being strong enough, for being the catalyst that had almost ended the world.
and he had, almost. even as fatigue started to eat at him. dizziness and headaches and waking nightmares of the past he can't escape from, accompanied by agony that drops him to his knees. he maintained that hope, that dream of the future that they had all shared before that final battle... but leads only brought him to dead ends. cloud was no scientist, incapable of figuring out what this was and why it was killing him and others that they loved. he could stand in front of an opponent and fight until the end, but in the face of inevitability - of mournful eyes and false hope, he crumbled. he'd always been a coward.
so he'd fled.
and now it's come to this.
the church, more destroyed than it's ever been. tifa bleeding, a small body in her arms. he doesn't comprehend what he's seeing for a moment, the record skip and familiar static burst of his mind trying to protect him from the worst obscures the little girl's face for a reason. but that can't save him anymore.
he bolts to their side, reaching for his chest of materia, for the maxed out materia he keeps on hand for just such an occasion - but it's not there. it's gone. ]
W-what... [ what happened. what are you doing here. what can i do? ]